To pierce or not to pierce...?

Over a week of hardly any internet access and so much I've missed to write about! The football! The Ghana@50 inquisition! The Ministry of Foreign Affairs fire! Thankfully Abena has summed up the week quite well. On a personal note I also managed to squeeze in a 2-night sleep in at my mother's in Tema.

Other than that, we (after all, where I go, baby goes) also made it to a funeral last Friday (sans bébé), a wedding last Saturday and another wedding yesterday. These social outings highlighted an irritating unspoken Ghanaian rule:

A baby can only be a girl here if she wears earrings! I had experienced this before, when everybody and anybody would say "what's his name?" or "what a sweet boy!" even though I'd be holding little M in her girly, often pink or purple dresses. But yesterday's experience was almost laughable.

Walking in to the reception of my Law School mate's wedding, another classmate greets me:
"Your baby is so cute, what's the name?"
"It's M".
"Oh, really? I actually have a client, a lady named M, but tell me is it usual to also call boys that?"
"No, she's a girl".
"Oh! I see...But, where are the earrings?!"

And that was just the start of the ridiculous afternoon. Every person who passed or greeted us reacted in the same way. I shouldn't be surprised, I myself don't wear earrings on a day-to-day basis and have received comments about that several times. Older lawyers in court will come up to me and (out of kindness) remind me that I've forgotten to put on earrings today, but I shouldn't worry, the judge will probably not notice that I am naked in the eyes of the court. (Since when are earrings part of a female lawyers court dress code?)

Since M was born, I have considered whether and if so, when to pierce her ears. After a while I settled on doing it around the age of three, and even then, it would be mainly to satisfy Ghanaian society, to make use of the many pretty earrings she has already received as presents and stop her potentially being bullied at school (lol!), as I couldn't care less, whether she goes earringless her whole life or not. But does that mean that I'm going to suffer the next two and a half years hearing these comments? Or the kinder, but equally annoying kind advice on where I can go to have her ears pierced (hospitals, clinics and pharmacies in case you're wondering), in case the problem is that I didnt' know where to find an earpiercer.

I just don't feel comfortable putting tiny earrings in my little girl's ears as she is of the hyper kind, pulls at everything she can hold on too and then puts it all in her mouth (this includes, my own earrings whenever I wear them). Funnily, in Sweden, there wouldn't be a question of her piercing her ears until she might want to do it, probably some time in her teens! What's your take on this strange culture clash?

Nine

Today's date will be a one off in our lifetime, just as the previous years' 080808, 070707 (when A LOT of people got married as it was a Saturday as well), etc have been.
So how to remember this day? Well I for one am hoping to hear from a friend who's expecting, with her calculated due date being, yes, the ninth of the ninth of the ninth.

No matter what, the coming baby will be special, unique and loved but we all think it'd be rather cool if he or she were to arrive today. If anything it makes for an easy date of birth to remember!

Tottenham, towels and Twi

Hmmm, the past two days I've made the same mistake and can only come to one conclusion: hungry babies are extremely difficult to bath! Apart from constantly wriggling about, they try to drink the bath water (yuck) and eat their towel.


Our move from Kent into London (well, the outskirts of it) has made me feel like I'm getting closer to Ghana. As a south London gal, I know there are huge Ghanaian communities in Tooting, Streatham, Norbury and most of the Croydon boroughs, but it seems the North is housing even more Ghanaians! Here in Tottenham, a short walk took me past the Golden Stool (restaurant/club/pub) and Yaw's Salon. Wherever I go, if I don't hear Twi being spoken, it's because the people are speaking Ga! And at Tottenham Hale station a ticket attendant actually recognised Virgo and called out one of their party cheers, I tell you, it was strangely surreal!

Either way, it's good to know that if need be, I can most certainly find some abenkwan or kelewele just around the corner.

This time...

Ages ago I planned to chronicle the year that just passed but never got the chance to do it. Besides, if I did, it would probably end up being a ten page account as so many things happened in 2008. However, I feel something must be documented in cyberform after Virgo reminded me two days ago that the African Cup of Nations had started exactly a year earlier. I was immediately struck by the conflicting thoughts of "how can it already be a year?" and "but it seems soooo long ago!".


This time last year, between drafting agreements and other stuff at the lawfirm, my fellow colleagues and I (including a certain Poet) would be texting any possible contacts for tickets to the next game, rushing to finish up work by 2.30 to be able to start walking to the Ohene Djan Stadium along with a whole load of other people in our business district.

This time last year, I had one niece who had just turned four years old. My now five year and one day old niece now has a little brother and a little cousin, with another cousin joining them in a few months time.


This time last year, I was, as mentioned, working for the law firm, still doing my pupillage. Now, I work for what will hopefully one day be a major corporation, managing and structuring the business, often working from home in my own time and finding time to do independent legal work on the side.

This time last year, there was hardly any political buzz in Ghana, and yet now we have a new president and a new party in power. Rather, at the law firm, we'd frequently discuss how the hotshot Obama was actually faring quite well against Hillary and may give her serious competition. Could any of us have imagined that a year later we'd be witnessing the inauguration of President Barack Obama?


This time last year I was in a relationship but living with my lovely mother at the centre of the world (that's Tema of course!). Now I am a "newly" married woman living in the heart of Accra, somewhat missing the fresh breeze and cooler air of Tema, but definitely not the commute!


Friends' babies have been born, beautiful, important people have passed, there have been marriages and career changes all around me. What a year it's been!

And you know what? It seems life will only get better in 2009!

Boobs, fat and fuel

It's amazing what you find when looking for links on the internet. I was looking for more links to celebrities who've lost their children. After all, John Travolta lost his son last week and Mia Farrow lost her adult daughter. Here in Ghana, a known member of society lost his 3.5 year old daughter after she tragically died in La Palm's swimming pool. (Apparently she somehow got into the adult pool which is not monitored by lifeguards). Could there be anything worse than experiencing the death of your child? I think not.

Any way, whilst browsing the world wide web for more details I first came across a story of outrage against facebook for banning pictures of babies being breastfed. Naturally, as a woman, and someone who sees nothing wrong in breastfeeding in public (despite whatever I may have written before!), I understand the upset people are feeling over these pictures being likened to pornography. However, after taking a peek at the facebook group "Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!(Official petition to Facebook)", my only question is why you would take, no, publish a picture of your baby being fed? Is it a matter of that being the only moment you catch him/her awake, or simply wanting to catch the moment and share it with friends and family? Only asking as most mothers I know feel a bit exposed whilst breastfeeding and I can't imagine them wanting to have their picture shared on facebook.

HOWEVER, what really intrigued me was the story of the doctor who took the fat from patients he had performed liposuction on and turned it into biodiesel for his and his girlfriend's cars! Surely this man is an ecological genius, no? Rather he has fled to South America as his practices were against California law. At first I thought, 'what a shame' as I am all for recycling, but after learning that his girlfriend performed some surgeries (without a medical licence!) and took out too much fat, I can see why it would be risky for him to gain from what he was taking out of the patients. After all, the way petrol prices used to go up, we'd all be tempted to steal a bit more fat from our would-be patients to keep our expenses down! Still, the avid recycler in me feels he was really on to something.

What do you think?

Gothenburg, je t'aime!

No time to blog, really, I promise! Just had to vent. Today a crazy person threw a stone the size of a brick on my car, leaving Roger with a nice 5 inch/12cm scratch. Until then, I'd always felt sympathy towards the mentally ill, trying to think of what could be done to help them. But in that moment, as Roger's paint bled, my fingers itched to pick up the stone lying next to my foot, aim hard and throw it at his head! i didn't of course, partly because I am after all sane, but mostly because I was scared of how he'd retaliate.

No wonder all forms of political correctness are gone in Ghana when referring to mentally ill persons. Because surely, it is only here that a mentally ill person can, in legislation be referred to as an "insane lunatic"!

Anyway, since I don't know when I'll blog again, thought it would be nice to show some pictures of my trip to La Suède. Enjoy!

(All from a spontaneous Friday evening trip on my friend's father's boat to the mini islands at the south of Gothenburg.)





Baby A chilling...

...whilst baby L is lifted to the skies by his proud maternal gramps...

...and paternal grandma...

...and his name called out three times, as is common in the traditional Ghanaian outdooring.

The little one

As promised, here is my beautiful new nephew, a week old today:

And what a beautiful baby he is. With Mr. T's fingers, arms and legs, mine and Mr. T's nose and everything else must be from his mama. Can't wait to meet him in person. Also can't help but wonder what individual he'll turn out to be. Only time will tell...

Boob Juice 2

I have been reprimanded, and with all right. A woman in the know has given her feedback on breastfeeding, which I feel lay it all out, so I'll post part of it here (hope you don't mind!):

"...Picture this.....most newborns feed every 2-3 hours, NIGHT AND DAY round the clock, if you're lucky it is 3 hours.....1-2 hours is more likely, so imagine you're trying to run your regular errands and stay ahead of the curve in terms of the 1-2 hour feeding interval....and remember in between you have to handle diaper changes and potentially a gassy baby so in other words in between the 2 hour cycles, you must run errands, change poop, cuddle and pacify baby and be ready on the dot when that little one starts groping for the nipple AGAIN.....and then the cycle starts over PLUS YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN SOME SENSE OF SANITY..."

The rest of the conversation follows in the comments. For now, all I can say is, as much as I whine about not getting enough sleep and all the noise that disturbs me when I'm trying to sleep, what will I do when there's a screaming, pooping, hungry baby around???

Still, that's still some year(s) away from now...

Brangelina = thieves

So, it seems Brad and Angelina finally had their fifth and sixth babies. I would have been happy for them, had they not stolen one of my own baby names (yes, I know I'm crazy, but I have certain names picked out for the day I have children). It's bad enough that Mr. T has informed me he'll use that name depending on the sex of the baby (which is due any day now!), but now that one of the world's most famous couples has gone and used it, it will become as common as John, Eric/Erik, Anna and Maria are around the world, or in Ghana: Joyce, Mercy, Gladys, Richard or...Wisdom.

I can't help but resent them a little bit. I would say it's my own fault for waiting so(?) long to have children for my names not to be considered copies of others, but would it have been better to pull a Juno or Jaime Lynn? Think not. I guess if I want to stay unique, I'll have to close my eyes, pick up a few Scrabble letters, shake them around, throw them on the floor and see if they make a word. Then again, giving a child such a unique name could surely amount to child abuse.

As you can see I am rambling. From bitterness over the name-stealing, hunger and tiredness. I think it's time to leave work, slightly early but it must be done. Last night, I hardly slept and had the craziest dreams, which I'll let Posekyere analyse superbly another time, for now, I'll just inform you that it involved me and a talking dog/baby.

Have a good evening!

More baby talk.

Continuing on from the last post, Britney Spears' little sister has come out as the surprise rebel in the wedding-before-baby race. You'd expect her of all people, coming from that small town Christian family background to have rushed to the church as soon as the blue line appeared on her pregnancy test, but as far as I know there are no marriage plans yet. Respect to Jaime Lynn, sensible thinking in the midst of being a knocked up minor ;)

Speaking of babies, I just received some fantastic news from a friend, looks like there'll be more babies on the way soon! Dee, the poetress and I also have to meet up to plan M2B's baby shower and I shouldn't forget planning Mr T's girlfriend's baby shower as well. To think I'll be planning all the way over here, for a baby shower held in Gothenburg, for which I won't even make it :(

It actually feels a bit strange that Mr. T is about to have a baby and I won't have seen any of the pregnancy, I'll probably just arrive to see a few week's old freshly baked baby in a few month's time. Thanks to all the babies popping up around me, more and more questions are coming too, of the : "When will yours be coming?" or "You'll be next you know, *nudge* *nudge*" kind. Don't kid yourself, mine are not on the way yet, I am in no hurry just because others are having them, and I'm NOT as old as some uncles make me out to be!

Look out for more on this later, for now...back to work.

Shotgun

Apparently Jessica Alba and Cash Warren got married two days ago. They're expecting their first child, a daughter, in June. I actually feel a bit disappointed, what is it with celebs (or is it just the American way?) that as soon as they get pregnant they need to rush it down the aisle.

In today's modern world, are people still that scared to have a 'bastard' baby? I assume that's what it is as it has happened so many times before. Beyoncé's sister (not a celeb in my opinion but will satisfy for the purposes of this 'study') had a quickie wedding and about six months later her baby was born. If I remember correctly Gwynteh Paltrow and Chris Martin also got married in the early stages of pregnancy. Just a few weeks ago Beyoncé and JayZ got married, followed by Ashlee Simpson and, er, Pete Wentz(?)(I'm having to stretch my celeb knowledge further than I'd like to here). Both couples have since been showered with pregnancy rumours.

With all that goes on in La La land, drugs, cosmetic surgeries, Hugh Hef and his girls, do they really need to protect us from such a scandalous thing as having a baby out of wedlock?! WHat century are we living in?!?

I don't see how these couples actually think a wedding will in any way change the social status of their baby. I feel like shouting at them, "you were pregnant before the wedding, the jig is up!"

To me, it actually questions their real commitment as I can't help but wonder whether they would actually have married if it wasn't for the coming child. 'Shotgun weddings' seem to be just that, a quick cover-up for a 'sinful' existence. I have more respect for those who choose to stay unmarried, perhaps marrying after the birth of the baby, when they are emotionally ready for such a commitment (and of course, respect to those who were married before they had children).

Maybe it's just me and my Swedish ways, the damage ;) caused by growing up in the land of co-habitation, but it all seems a bit rushed to me. What do you think?

I'm going to think over this a bit more as I have a burger at Frankies with Dirty (from now on to be referred to as Dee, she doesn't like the Dirty)

Tips

Found this really interesting website that talks about new guidelines for caring for babies. Have a look here if you are a new parent (or for any of us who'll have children one day)