Monday, 16 February 2009

Love, trust, deception

Ok, so I know I was supposed to write about love as part of our Ghanablogging group on Friday, and I know Saturday was Valentine's day and although I had a lovely Saturday (it included a pancake breakfast, fufu & groundnut soup lunch, dessert at Melting Moments and dinner at Captain Hooks), I can't help but think of all the stories of infidelity I've been hearing lately. It's enough to make any man or woman scared to trust anybody again.

How about the guy who had a regular girlfriend for over a year. She'd come over with him, spend nights at his house, feel comfortable and free there, chat to his cousin who lived with him. Until one day when she shows up unexpectedly and finds framed photos on the walls that she's never seen before, some, of her boyfriend, clearly on his wedding day! With a little help from his cousin she soon realises that he is married, has a wife who works periodically out of Accra, so that every time the wife is on location, all pictures of her (and the baby the girlfriend thought belonged to his cousin) are taken down, only to be put up when wifey is on her way back in to town.

Or what about my former classmates who started getting it on right around revision time for final exams (could that be why he failed? Ooooh, miaow), even though the girl had a fiance for several years? The only shocking thing about that story is that it seems it is only in the past few weeks that her fiance has found out, almost two years after the sordid affair started!

And just this afternoon, I was told of the most classic one yet. A girl who's been keeping two boyfriends (not that either of them knew about the other), gets out of the one guy's bed in a rush one Saturday morning, saying "Wow, I have to go, it's already ten a.m." The boyfriend innocently asks "Why, where are you off to in such a rush on a Saturday morning?"

Her answer?

"My wedding!"

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

SHE DIDN'T????!!!!!! Seriously Maya??!!!! Wow...some people have guts.....

Maya said...

I know, Anon!

A friend just told me the story, and my jaw dropped (then of course I said, "I have to write about this on my blog!").

The cheek!

Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

I could have added a personal story to this, but I guess I will just tell you on the quiet if it comes up!

Maya said...

Oooh, Nana Yaw, I can't wait!

Camille Acey said...

This is a classic!

Abena said...

*LOL* Although these stories are really scary, I could not help but smile! I guess it comes from being being seriously jaded and cynical!

posekyere said...

This is really sickening!
The sheer magnitude of deception in relationships these days makes one wonder if it is worth it to trust in anybody.
Late for her wedding, my foot! If I were the guy she spent the night with, I will have followed her to the wedding and spill the sordid beans! The groom had to be told the truth before commiting himself to such a sure failure of a "marriage".
I will not allow any brother to even talk to such a slut. All the children in the marriage will have different fathers, I bet.
Such a shaaaaaaaame!!

Camille Acey said...

posekyere - you are assuming the man she is marrying is so virtuous. he may well be running the church from his mistress's house!

posekyere said...

Hi Camille Acey,
Maybe I am so out of touch with what is happening around me, but I can't bring myself to even suppose that the groom also went awhoring before rushing to his own wedding.
What is the point of the wedding? Why don't they keep on with the game.
Somebody tell me: is that the norm now? Gee, I really don't get it!

Maya said...

From the looks of the comments, it seems we women are definitely a bit jaded compared to the men, no?

Abena, I think it's only good, judging by the amount of stories out there that's the best way to protect ourselves from utter shock.

Maya said...

Posekyere,
I'm glad you're shocked because at times it seems there's no hope of finding men who aren't playing the field.

Still I agree with you, what's the point of getting married when you've broken your vows before taking them?

Maya said...

Camille,

So sad but true, before feeling sorry for the groom, let's find out who else he possibly shares his bed with!

novisi said...

classic acts there Maya!

no shocks here at all!!!

and just some of the reasons why i love us humans so much - men, women... ah... lovely...

so why should i bother trusting a fellow man/woman! i just don't. that!

i'm enjoying the world now more than i ever did when i was young and green and so innocent and we were told to 'act' pious! and yet all it took was a closer look at what the 'adults' did and rot will stare you in the face!

that said, i believe in these matters of relationships, we should all just be... (whatever)...hmmmmmm!

Posekyere, you might want to read 'The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born' by Ayikwei Armah...

lovely, lovely, lovely!!!

Adaeze said...

No She Didn't! Lol

OMG. I mean, I'm not shocked but I don't think I'll ever stop getting shocked at these stories. I feel like the people (like me) who believe in unconditional fidelity are just seizing to exist..Happy to see people here as outraged as me. I just don't get it. How about having some integrity and dignity - is there no pride in these qualities any longer?
I remember being with my husband (then boyfriend) on the tram - one of his aquintances got on all happy and talkative saying he'd just come from his girlfriends place. My hubby asked "What do you mean girlfriend, isn't she your wife?" "oh No, I'm going back to her now", he said and picked his wallet and took out his ring, put it back on his finger. Disgusting.
Even if I didn't have any integrity my conscience could never allow me to trick and cheat another person like that.

novisi said...

Adaeze,

you seem to have a very strong moral base coded in hard iron... unbreakable! ...nice!

but what if the gal never told the guy the truth anyway? cos i see at least there is a confession of truth of the scheduled wedding!!!

I have learned and will never put anything past man and woman! never! but still these stories tickle just fine! that's all.

Maya said...

Hm Novisi, think we should all be careful before trusting people. And as for adults, they should learn that children do what they do, not what they say!

Maya said...

Adaeze,
Even a self-[rpclaimed cynic like myself,is shocked by your story and the ones I wrote about. It's just hard to understand the cool head and lack of concern with which some people act!

Maya said...

Novisi, it's true that you can't put anything past anybody these days, but isn't it sad that we ought to expect the worst of people in relationships?

Adaeze said...

yeah, at least there is a confession .. :-S
Sure I know what you mean. I have been disappointed PLENTY of times and I know better than trusting anybody really. But I am such an idealist I can't live without trusting at least the very closest people to me. Got to face your fears to live your dreams. Yes, Maya, I find it very sad that we can't trust people..I was about to say "anymore" but I guess unfortunately it's human nature. Allthough I can't relate to it whatsoever. It has to do with moral standards and mental lazyness - you have to work hard to be a good person and stand by your principles.
And Novisi, thanks for your compliment! It's not easy, lol, so hearing nice words is always strengthening.

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