Thursday, 12 June 2008

Family ties

The gossip grapevine (sorry, that's my sort of news, I can't help it) tells me that Charlotte and Nicola Perrelli (Swedish celebs) are separating. To me, the first thing that came to mind was the huge fight the couple had with Nicola's parents, so that he actually cut himself off from his parents and changed his surname. Don't worry, I'm not going to further disgrace myself by displaying my knowledge of all things unnecessary.

Rather, I'm reminded of something my mum always says: At the end of the day, you only have your family. She's always ensured that us siblings have good relationships with each other and don't let arguments continue, because no matter what, it is only your family that you have for life. Yes, you don't choose your mother, father, sister or brother, but for better or for worse, those are the people you're stuck with for the rest of your life.

I thought of this because I can imagine how strongly Nicola would have fought against his family at the time, thinking "It's me and my wife against them, to hell with them" and now, I wonder what his world will be like when he's broken off from the family he was born into, and suddenly, the family he created has fallen apart.

Part of the charm of life is the fact that you are forced to be raised with a bunch of strangers (really, that's what they are, aren't they?) and you have to aim to make it work because they are the ones who'll give you a kidney or bone marrow when you need it, or simply be the ones you look like, talk like and have relationships with till you die. To make that work is a constant task, but the rewards are amazing. People who come from very close families tend to have a certain confidence, a belief in themselves. If you have close ties, it's like having a backbone that cannot break, no matter what life hits you with, your backbone will keep you standing up.

Although we can create new families with friends and lovers, there is something so unique about sharing DNA with another person, knowing that no fight, no event can break the bond between you.

I can only wonder if Nicola now longs for his family, after the legal bond he thought was unbreakable is showing major cracks.


Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful piece in support of the family. But I do not agree that family's all we got. I believe that friendship with family members should not be automatic, just like every other kind.

Maya said...

I completely agree with you, friendship with family isn't automatic, it's extremely difficult at times, but because of the link that bonds us to people we haven't chosen, I think we have to work even harder at that friendship.

Anonymous said...

Hi Maya. Just in from Dubai with Emirates and dined, yet again, at Monsoon. One of the Ghanian girls suggested Rhapsody although she'd never been (I asked if I could come to her house for dinner but she wasn't too enthusiastic!)I googled Rhapsody Ghana and was led to your blog which in turn led me to believe that you were going, albeit reluctantly, last night. Did you go - was it good - would an old (54) guy feel like a grandfather? Is it far from the G Tulip? Thanking you in advance, I am
Sincerey and hopefully yours,


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